By now, the number of continuing education (CE) lectures I’ve attended is like the cells in a 4+ anterior uveitis—too many to count.
It’s certainly been enough for me to recognize an implicit agreement between lecturer and attendee that constitutes a sacred bond. You know, the one that says, “Lecturers lecture and attendees attend (or at least pretend to), and neither shall harass or attempt to humiliate the other.”
However, one particular CE guru I heard recently apparently didn’t get the memo.
Previously from Dr. Brown: Using the extra eyes within your exam room
It all went down on an early Sunday morning in a dimly lit lecture hall somewhere in the Deep South. Just like church, there were a couple of eager front rowers, but most of the congregation were trying to hide out in the shadows of the back pews.
Sensing that he needed to heat things up, our speaker proceeded to rain down fire and brimstone on our heads.
He warned of the great optometric apocalypse that was nigh upon us and preached on our need to rise up out of our daily ruts, repent our old-fashioned modes of practice, and embrace the glorious gospel of the major paradigm shift.
“How many of you still use a pressure patch?” he yelled into the darkness.
My first reaction was like Admiral Ackbar’s— “It’s a trap!”
But then I thought, OK, what the heck, I’m game, and started to break Rule One of “How to fly low on the radar during CE” by raising my hand.
I didn’t even have a chance to get it fully extended before his eyes latched onto me, apparently the lone sinner in the congregation willing to come forward and confess.
Related: It’s not easy seeing green
“You see?” he shouted, “there’s always at least one! If you don’t use bandage contact lenses (CL), you’re behind the times!”
That’s right: I’d just been “audience shamed.” For a second, I thought he was going to make me don a scarlet “PP.”
Had he actually been willing to listen to what I had to say rather than just using me to make a point, he might have learned that, yes, I do use bandage contact lenses a great deal of the time in patients with corneal abrasions and erosions, as well as in cases of post-corneal foreign body removal.
And yes, I know that most patients prefer them over pressure patches, and they work great.