Tricks and treats
Which brings me to a discussion about treats. Those without children in public school may not be aware of this minefield.
Homemade treats, no matter how high the chocolate content, are typically frowned upon. Foods containing nuts are out—all nuts, not just peanuts.
Dairy is out.
Related: The top 18 staff horror stories
For health conscious parents, gluten and GMO is out. Single-serving containers are in, but nothing healthy comes in single-serve packs except carrots and apple slices—which are too expensive. That leaves bubble gum eyeballs
, and things like pencils, erasers, tattoos, and spider rings.
The kids will think everything except the bubble gum eyes is lame, so just stock up on the eyeballs.
And remember, you have to get out of work early to trick-or-treat with the kids or protect your home from hooligans. Or look at like this: Leave early to go eat all the candy you want.